As a father you want to give your son as much guidance and wisdom as possible. With so much conflicting parenting advice it can be hard to distinguish the wheat from the chaff. We have listed our top 10 for 2023 here…
Your son needs to know how powerful he really is, and what he is capable of, to gain the confidence he needs to excel and enjoy life. Above all he needs to be happy and healthy, and these empowering 10 needs will do that. Put him on the path to becoming an unstoppable man!
What does your son need from you?
1. Go Outside
Number 1 on the list, and not by accident, is to get your children out of the house and into nature as often as you can. Children need to run wild and free outdoors, and some of the other tips lead directly from it. So don’t worry about the January wind and rain. Get them out in it!
It’s predicted that two-thirds of all humans will live in cities by 2050. Consider that the concept of a city, especially as we know them today, would be as alien as a civilisation on Mars to our hunter-gatherer ancestors. Cities have been around for around 6000-7000 years(1), with humans only really beginning to settle in permanent habitations around 4000-6000 years before that. That leaves a gap of around 190,000 years where we (homo-sapiens specifically) were roaming the open plains, mountain ranges and forests of the world. And before that our ancestor species were doing the same for up to 2 million years(2). What’s my point? We are designed to be outside! Wild!
Trees are the best medicine
The Japanese have a great term for going for a walk in the woods. They call it ‘forest bathing’. Even the name conjures a feeling of serenity and blissful aimless wandering. Their research suggests that inhaling aerosols during a walk increases Natural Killer (NK) cells. These cells are part of the immune system that fight tumors and infections.
Another study on the topic noted that by releasing essential oils from cedars into a room where people slept, they were also able to cause NK cells to spike(3).
A 20,000 person study, run by the University of Exeter, found that people who spend 2 hours per week in green spaces are substantially more likely to have good health, as well as psychological well-being. Any less than 2 hours a week, which doesn’t have to be taken all in one go, was found to have no benefit(4).
Want more reasons to spend time in nature with your family? Read this other Son of Man article…
De-stress
Spending time in fields, woods and gardens was found to be an antidote for stress by:
- Lowering stress hormones
- Reducing nervous system arousal
- Lowering blood pressure
- Increasing self-esteem
- Reducing anxiety
- Improving mood
A study conducted by psychiatric researchers found that feelings of isolation were reduced when patients were in nature. It also increased mood and promoted calm, leading to reduced stress.
Mental health
Natural environments are found to reduce aggression and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). The right prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain that’s involved in ADD- and Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).and is affected by attention fatigue, which causes children inability to pay attention and control impulses.
Children that spend time outdoors in nature show reduced attention fatigue. Those that are diagnosed with ADHD show reduced symptoms(5).
“Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.”
John Muir
Clean Air
Your children, especially when they start school, spend a lot of time sitting down- more on that later- indoors, breathing in stuffy school air. Not that it’s a problem in the UK, but in places where the outside temperature can get warm, that air is probably air-conditioned as well, so they breathe the same recycled air all day.
Sitting at their desks inside makes it more likely for them to breathe shallowly, where they only inhale into the top part of their lungs- apical breathing. Breathing this way triggers stress receptors in their chest so their body thinks it’s in a fight or flight situation, causing them to become more stressed and anxious.
Ensuring that, when they aren’t in school, they spend time upright, walking and playing outside, means that they are able to breathe deeply into the bottom portion of the lungs. Filling the lungs in this way gets more oxygen into the cells and allows them to expel toxins.
Read below when we discuss Nasal Breathing to learn more about effective breathing and its benefits.
Increased oxygenation helps to release more serotonin, increasing their mood and general feeling of happiness- especially important after a long day at school. Try a walk through the park after school to help them release the stresses of their day(6).
2. To feel the Earth beneath his feet
Feet get a hard time really. The amount of abuse they get from people for the way they look and the fact that they spend most of their existence hidden away from the world in socks, shoes and boots is unfair. Especially when we look at what an amazing part of the body they are.
“The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art”
Leonardo da Vinci
Shoes are a relatively new invention. Especially the shoes we have today, with their narrow toe-boxes, elevated heels and inflexible materials. The closest our ancestors would have come to a shoe was wrapping animal hide around their feet to defend against the cold or a particularly spiky environment.
Why should you choose function over fashion when it comes to your child’s footwear?
Aside from the fact that constricting your feet into pointy stilettos or brogues will deform your feet over time, leading to more musco-skeletal injuries and conditions such as bunions? Well, think about it, our feet are our main connection to the Earth. Without them in their current form, we would have been unable to move and hunt the way that was required for our evolution.
How amazing are our feet?
One quarter of all the bones and joints in your entire body can be found in your feet and ankles, showing just how much emphasis evolution has placed on them.
More staggeringly, the soles of your feet have more nerve endings than anywhere else apart from your fingertips and lips. More than your genitals! We need so many nerve endings because, as I said, the feet are our connection to the Earth. They tell our brain what is happening, which then tells the body- usually the feet- how to deal with it(7).
Encasing these super sensors in modern footwear is damaging for several reasons that we’ll look at now.
Physical Development
We are quite unique in how we look and move, The fact that we stand on two legs and walk and run the way we do is pretty strange in the animal kingdom- especially amongst our closest relatives. So as our children grow and develop, it’s an important step for them to become stable on two legs and be able to walk, run and jump on them.
We make such a big deal out of our child’s first steps and then forget about what an achievement it actually is.
During early life, children are learning via every method possible. They are learning machines. A crucial method is motor learning- a process of changing the central nervous system in response to physical practice of a certain skill(8).The foot is essential for the motor learning associated with stability and bipedal movement. Growing up barefoot could affect childhood development and motor learning in such a way that it affects health in later life.
Those children that spend more time barefoot when they’re young- especially whilst in their ‘growing years’ (before 7 years old)- have wider feet and fewer deformities to their feet and toes(9).
Puberty
As well as the importance for being barefoot before the age of 7, it is thought that puberty years- between 10 and 14- are also good ages to get their shoes off. Hormonal changes around this time have an influence on bone and muscle growth, meaning that foot arch development will help take care of the shape of the foot, and avoid flat arches. Flatter arches are associated with children that grow up wearing shoes(9).
Struggling to wean them off shoes? Minimalist shoes were found to be just as good at boosting size and strength of foot muscles as dedicated foot exercise programmes(10).
Neural development
One of the reasons we want all those nerve endings in our children’s feet to be able to send information up to the brain is to help develop it. When they wear cushioned shoes, that thick spongy layer of padding blocks most of the information and results in lack of control and an underdeveloped brain.
Being barefoot more often allows sharper sensory feedback from the foot and gives the brain more detailed data to work with. This not only helps develop the brain, it creates better balance and motor function of the foot and lower limbs.
This extra work enhances the body’s circulatory flow, and the greater amount of information improves posture and anatomical alignment, resulting in a better hold on oneself. Ever felt unstable when wearing high heels or ‘supportive’ shoes? Try observing how you stand while wearing them. Now take them off, walk around a bit and look again. You should be more aligned and comfortable(10).
Ground your children!
As already stated, our feet are our connection to the Earth. Well, it seems like this connection is extremely beneficial. Being able to draw strength from the Earth may sound a bit too hippy for you, but wait until you hear the science behind it.
Clearly, humans weren’t designed to wear shoes, or we would have evolved some. Also, you wouldn’t have thought that we would evolve to be so susceptible to all the health disorders we have today. Could it have something to do with the fact that we are missing out on an electric connection to the Earth that our ancestors had?
A potentially significant factor in many health disorders is something called electron deficiency syndrome. By earthing, we allow free electrons into the body in huge numbers. These electrons are then able to neutralise free radicals- molecules that damage healthy tissues by stripping their electrons.
This charge we receive can reduce inflammation, stress and pain as well as improving our blood flow and energy, boosting our sleep and making us generally happier(11).
How long should you spend grounding your children?
As long as you can. Remember, we were made to be barefoot and walking on the Earth’s surface. It’s meant to be our default, not something to limit.
Read here for more reasons why your toddler should lose the shoes!
3. Sunlight
None of us would be here without that big orange ball in the sky. Humans have worshiped the sun for as far back as we can imagine. Here in the UK, as well as all over the world, we can find constant reminders of our ancestors’ obsession with the sun in things like stone circles and burial sites that align with it at various times of the year. Modern living has caused us to lose some of our fascination with the sun, now that we can stay inside, warm and illuminated at all hours of the day and night. And with the rise in technology and many changes in industries, a lot of us are spending more time indoors than ever. So what’s the need for us to break out of the cycle of home-car-work-car-home?
Vitamin D
Vitamin D is a fat soluble vitamin we get from many animal products that helps the body retain calcium needed for our bone health(13), among other things. Though our diet only accounts for 10-50% of intake while the majority, we get from the sun. The body can absorb UV-B radiation from sunlight through a compound in the skin and then convert it through a series of steps into vitamin D(14).
Globally, vitamin D deficiency is most common in children. The deficiency can take a while to show symptoms, so pregnant mothers can suffer without knowing. A baby with a deficient mother can feel the effects themself and are at risk, both in the womb and from drinking breast milk that lacks the vitamin. Therefore, it is important that pregnant women are assessed for low vitamin D levels(15).
To be extra safe, as well as getting enough sunshine, ensure your son’s mother eats high vitamin D foods such as grass-fed meat and organs, pasture-raised eggs and oily fish- especially if she has dark skin, spends lots of time indoors, or lives in a more temperate climate.
Benefits of Vitamin D
The benefits of sufficient vitamin D include:
- Proper statural growth
- Increased immune function
- Greater cognitive development
1. Proper statural growth
Due to the lack of calcium- as well as phosphorus- vitamin D deficiency may cause problems with bone mineralisation during childhood . A severe deficiency may cause rickets, which is clinically expressed by bone deformity and poor growth- especially regarding the spine, pelvis and lower limbs(16).
2. Increased immune function
As well as its necessity for the skeleton, vitamin D has been associated with boosting the innate immune system- which prevents infection- and the adaptive immune system- for autoimmunity(17).
One study found that those with the highest levels of vitamin D had a 44% lower chance of developing type-1 diabetes in adulthood compared to those with the lowest levels. Additionally, there was a 40% lower rate of flu in those that took a vitamin D supplement, in contrast to the group that took a placebo, indicating that vitamin D can also mitigate more common illnesses. There is also current evidence that associates low levels with multiple sclerosis (MS). It suggests that 40% of MS cases could be prevented by ensuring adequate vitamin D levels(18).
3. Greater cognitive development
Brain development starts early! Before even being born- as well as in early stages of life- adequate vitamin D levels are essential for “normal receptor transcriptional activity” which is needed for mental functioning and cognitive development. After your son’s born, and begins to spend all of his time learning, he will need vitamin D to improve things like motor control, memory, learning skills and even social behaviour.
As he approaches his teens, it’s important for you to understand that adolescents with severe mental illness frequently have deficiencies. IThe associations made between low vitamin D levels and conditions like depression and seasonal affective disorder indicate that its effect on mood is apparent.(19). Also, while it may not be at the forefront of your mind at a young age, it’s worth noting that patients with low vitamin D levels have been seen to have a 54% greater risk of dementia(20).
Morning sunlight
I’m writing this in the depths of a UK winter. It’s cold and wet. But worst of all, when I leave for work and when I finish, it’s dark. One of the most refreshing things about spring is when it starts to get lighter, and I can walk out into the garden in the early morning sunshine. Think back to when we were hunters. We woke and slept based on the sun, so it makes sense that morning sunshine should tell our body that it’s time to get up.
Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist and associate professor at the Stanford University school of Medicine. In his opinion, one of the most important things you can do for mental and physical health- for yourself and your son- is to get morning sunshine into your eyes.
It sounds strange, obviously staring at the sun isn’t a good idea. But I definitely recommend trying it. I make sure that every morning I’m with my son, I take him out in the garden as the sun’s light reaches it, whether it’s cloudy and raining or not.
We both walk onto the lawn in bare feet to get a further boost from nature through earthing (see above).
It doesn’t have to be crazily early either: 2- 10 minutes before 10am is fine- which is difficult at mine during these short days when the sun hits my grass at 0950.
Learn more about the benefits of sunlight here…
One reason for getting this light in your son’s eyes first thing is that it triggers a dose of cortisol, which signals your body that it’s time to wake up. This increases energy and focus throughout the day. It also sets your natural body clock so that your body understands it’s morning and so triggers the release of melatonin ready for when its time to sleep. So you’ll both me more awake in the day, and get a better nights sleep as well as promoting positive hormone function and better mental health.
And before you look out the window and decide that it’s too wet and windy to get out and that you’ll just sit near the window, it’s no good. The glass filters out a lot of the blue light that we need to stimulate wakefulness. So, get up, keep your shoes off and take your son into nature and watch the sunrise. Once you start, you won’t be able to stop(21).
4. Nasal Breathing
No one wants to be known as a ‘mouth breather.’ I was one when I was younger and there’s a multitude of problems that came along with it, some affecting me until my adult life. Problems like:
- Facial structure development
- Bad teeth
- Insomnia
- Stress
- Social problems
- Constant blocked nose
- Asthma
Lack of oxygen
Nasal breathing increases the amount of air that can be taken in on each breath as it allows the use of all of the lungs. Mouth breathing only brings air into the upper portions. This lack of air equates to a lack of oxygen being absorbed into the blood. Every cell in the body needs oxygen, and increasing oxygen improves their function, improving the function of everything that happens in the body.
Everything relies on it. Digestion, tissue and bone growth, muscle contractions and hormone production, to name only a few depend on the optimal intake of oxygen. 20% of the oxygen that you breath is used purely by the brain to maintain proper functioning, allowing development during childhood, and concentration at school.(22).
Facial Structure development
Childhood is the most pivotal time in life for growth. The habits promoted during this time can have implications that last for life. Humans are designed to breathe through our noses. It’s why they look the way they do and how our respiratory system is designed. Mouth-breathing as a child hampers the proper development of the face, further affecting ability to breath aswell as aesthetic issues(23).
It is well documented that children who breath through their mouth develop longer narrower faces and a jaw that is set back from the ideal. This narrower structure doesn’t leave enough room for the teeth, leading to orthodontic problems and crooked teeth. Aswell as this, the facial appearence is sub-optimal socially. A wider face and strong jawline is considered healthier and more attractive. This progresses further than pure aesthetics. Humans are judgemental creatures, meaning we base a lot more on physical appearance than just whether we fancy someone. Men with wider faces are seen as stronger negotiators and achieve greater fianancial success than narrow faced men(24).
Poor sleep
Mouth breathing children are more likely to sleep with their mouth open and snore. 62% have night time breathing difficulties and restless sleep, which inhibits optimal development- we grow when we sleep- and affects day time energy and concentration (25). A lack of restful sleep not only inhibits physical repair and growth, but has serious connotations for mental health. The stress caused by continuously poor sleep can lead to depression, social anxiety, and misdiagnoses of things like hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder (ADD).
Stress
Stress isn’t something we usually relate to the carefree years of childhood, but the physicality of mouth breathing triggers a stress response. If your child’s body spends years thinking that it is in a high stress environment, then there can be severe implications both mentally and physically.
Mouth breathing doesn’t allow the lungs to be fully filled with oxygen. Nasal breathing allows air to be drawn into the lower parts of the lungs- a deep breath. The problem with only drawing air into the upper sections of the lungs not only decreases the amount of oxygen needed for the brain and other tissues to function, but activates the sympathetic nervous system- fight or flight response. This is because our normal state is relaxed breathing through the nose, filling all of the lungs. Historically, when we were hunters, the only time we would mouth breath and trigger these nerves, was when we were in danger.
Stress is an ever increasing problem for our children. A problem they shouldn’t have to deal with on the scale that they do! Learn about how obesity can lead to mental health issues here!
The result of a child constantly being in this flight or fight state puts huge pressure on the body and the brain. It means that you can’t relax, concentrate or focus on maintaining social relationships. It can’t be stressed how damaging this can be for young people in such a vital period of brain development and a time when they are finding their place in society.
5. Dangle
Think of monkeys. What do they do that they all seem to have in common? Swing around in trees? Well, remember that we’re closely related to them. In fact, humans are a member of the great ape family and it seems that our shoulders don’t want us to forget it. Our shoulder joints are still designed to dangle from branches supporting our body weight. I don’t know about you, but that isn’t usually on my to do list. But it definitely should be!
This action is known as ‘brachiating’. It stretches the brachial artery. This stretching increases blood flow down the limb, supplying the extremities with oxygen and nutrients. It also creates space for the tendon in the shoulder that’s responsible for mobility and strength(26).
Posture
Brachiating reduces the chance of a shoulder injury and improves your son’s posture. Keeping him active throughout his childhood can reduce the chance of poor posture. However, when he starts school he will spend years sat in a chair for long periods. Without intervention, this can compress his spine and potentially lead to lifelong problems.
Our modern sedentary schooling comes at a bad time. The time when your son starts to sit for hours, is a time when he is growing rapidly. Bad posture during this growth phase can lead to abnormal development of the spine and an increased risk of arthritis later in life(27).
6. Eat like a Human
How long ago does Henry VIII seem? Or Alfred the Great, Julius Caesar, the Pyramids, Stonehenge? As far away from us as they feel, it’s nothing compared to how long Homo sapiens have been roaming the planet. And that pales in insignificance to how long it’s been since our parent human species’ first arrived.
My point is that though some things in life seem set in stone, they probably aren’t even that old. Look at our western diet. Processed seed oils, ridiculous chemicals and refined sugar squashed into different shapes clearly aren’t what our ancestors were eating. Yet so many of them are seen as our staple foods.
Throughout the vast majority of our history, going back at least 2 million years, optimal humans have subsisted on a diet of animal meat, fat and organs almost exclusively(28). As a result, that is the food that we require to be at our best.
How can meat make you unstoppable? Read this Son of Man article to find out!
But isn’t meat bad for us?
No. Meat, and its associated fat, contains nutrients absolutely essential to our health. Our brains and bodies rely on them for proper growth and development, making meat a vital food for your son. A diet lacking in meat, means that your son will be getting inadequate amounts of things like vitamin B12 and DHA- without supplementation, which comes with its own host of dangers. B12 is only found in animal products and is absolutely required for cognitive development, with childhood deficiencies leading to low IQ and mental health issues, among many other serious problems.
A mother that’s deficient in B12 can cause irreversible damage to her unborn child by hindering brain development. In fact, the symptoms of B12 deficiency in children are so severe that they are often confused with autism. The deficiency continues after birth, as her breast milk would also be low in B12(29). So its important to make sure the women in your life eat their meat! Especially if they’re going to be, or are, carrying your legacy.
Learn about the love story between humans and meat here…
Aren’t we designed to eat plants?
We can eat plants. But it isn’t what we want. Before 2 million years ago, our ancestors were opportunistic hunters, so would have had a diet higher in plants. This is the reason we can still digest starch. We would have kept this ability because it made sense for when times were tough and meat was scarce. At least we could fall back on plants and eat them to survive. This is what has made us such a successful species- our ability to adapt.
Overtime, as we became more proficient hunters through communication, technology and tactics, our diet shifted more to nutrient rich meat. It makes sense that we would choose it over plants, from which we derive very few nutrients. It’s the reason our brains are the size that they are. You don’t need a large powerful brain to dig up roots and pick fruit. But in order to outwit other animals, design new tools and work together effectively, you need to be able to think.
Veganism WILL damage your son’s health. Learn how in this Son of Man article…
What meats should my son eat?
Grass-fed, pasture-raised or wild-caught. That is: animals that are fed their natural diet. Like us, when fed on grain heavy diets, the animals become unwell, requiring supplementation themselves. The result is less healthy meat higher in the inflammatory omega-6 fats (the fats associated with plants). One of the reasons meat gets such a hard time is because when studies focus on ‘meat-eaters’ they don’t differentiate between where the meat has come from or its quality. Low quality, processed meat isn’t good. Go to your local butcher and guarantee that your food has been raised on grass. I’m in the UK and to stay safe I mainly focus on beef and lamb bred and raised in the UK.
And remember, throughout history, until very recently, meat has been the prized food of the nobility. The peasants, the slaves and the masses have been forced to subsist on cheap grains- in many parts of the world this is still the case. INow that meat is available and affordable to all of us in the West, they tell us to eat grains instead, as meat is considered unhealthy.. Don’t let them treat you like a peasant! Feed your son quality meat and watch him thrive.
What meat gives us that your sons need to thrive!
7. Be comfortable being uncomfortable
Dean Karnazes said: “Don’t confuse comfort with happiness.”
It’s such an easy thing to do- and an easy way to live. Nobody likes it when things hurt, or situations scare you, or you could fail. But we all know that without those times in your life, then life would be, well… boring.
Think about it. If you’d never risked rejection then you wouldnt be with your partner. If you’d never risked failure, you wouldn’t have your dream job. I remember when I was 19 and going through a particularly difficult and stressful time in my life: a wise old man perched on top of a mountain (honestly) looked down at my exhausted form and said, “Remember. Nothing worth having comes easy.” Those words stuck with me, and everytime something seems difficult or scary, I think about what it could lead to.
This is a quality I want to pass on to my son, and one that I feel isn’t given enough credit, especially for young men. One of the most important qualities, in my opinion, is self-confidence. The current fear of men in society has translated to qualities like: “be kind”; “show your emotions”; “be gentle”: “be compassionate” pushed on our sons. There’s nothing wrong with these qualities at all. Clearly a compassionate , kind boy is great. But every box could be ticked by simply promoting self-confidence.
Teach the art of perseverance to your son! Find out how here…
A man that is comfortable with himself, knows himself and loves himself is an asset to society and those around him. The opposite is dangerous. It is somebody that needs to beat others down to feel stronger, make others look stupid to feel cleverer, and control everybody to feel happier. Can you think of a man like that?
The problem arises from the relatively easy life most of us in the west enjoy. There’s no real pressure to work hard and strive for excellence, because either way, you’ll be looked after. For men in particular, being raised in an over feminised society leads to the ‘dangerous’ man discussed above. This might seem counterintuitive and the feminised environment is a deliberate way to weaken men- it just doesn’t work.
Mothers will always be mothers. They love their sons, of course, and want to raise them like the little princes that they think they are. In the past this parenting was counteracted by a strong father figure in the house and a strong male social life. However, modern society has demonised masculine traits so much that many fathers are no longer strong, and the pastimes that boys should enjoy together are often no longer available.
A boy used to find his place in a group through physicality. Fighting, rough games, stupid dares etc were how they developed friendships and built their confidence. Now, mothers pamper boys at home, and soft school systems prohibit them running around, fighting each other, and finding their place in the pack. They’re all told that they’re special, and when they act like they are, theres no boys that are allowed to challenge them to knock them back down to reality.
Learn more reasons why you should get your son outside and uncomfortable!
So you end up with every boy thinking he’s top-dog, but never able to actually prove it to himself or anybody else. This creates a paranoid and suspicious environment, which can lead to disastrous situations for women when they are left to look after an overgrown child who has been told he is special his whole life. His confidence balances on a knife edge, and when it’s at risk of being shattered, he lashes out to prove himself. Because he’s never been allowed to prove what he can do, or spent time in masculine environments, so he has no idea what it really means to be strong.
So you need to push your son and encourage him to face uncomfortable situations. Whether that’s starting a new sports club where he doesn’t know anybody, getting a job in a shop even though he’s extremely shy, or taking a cold shower in the mornings, All of these are challenges in their own way. But in that challenge lies the opportunity to build his self-confidence. The main factor is his comfort level. He needs to break out of, and grow, it. (30). Let him experience what he- and his body- are really capable of achieving, the results will always impress himc. We are so much more powerful than we are led to believe. And in that self confidence arises true peace and happiness.
As James Elroy Flecker said:
“I look down the farthest side of the mountain,
James Elroy Flecker (31)
fulfilled and understanding all,
and truly content that
I lived a full life and one
that was my own choice”
8. Get him Dirty
I had an argument with my wife only today about this. It’s a battle that’s regularly fought, though it’s unlikely the war will be over by Christmas. We were walking through the park on the way to a small train and, in his excitement, my 3 year old son wet himself. We diverted and bought him some new trousers but, after we’d changed him, I left his shoes off. So he was walking around town barefoot. Now, I’ve been with my wife for a number of years, she knows my feelings towards things like being barefoot, And still, she would not leave it alone. Worried about puddles, about mud, about the cold floor. Even though he told her that he likes the feeling of mud under his feet, and he loves splashing in it.
I understand that most of her reaction was based off her fear of what other people would think. But it’s so common in our society now for people to fear any sort of dirt. She even puts his wellies on for the beach. And she isn’t the only one. My son and me go to the beach in all weathers, always barefoot. The amount of strange looks that we get is baffling.
Do you struggle to get your son out of the house and into the mud because he’s lazy? Learn how to motivate him here!
I’ve already discussed ‘earthing’. But I want to talk about another reason to keep your son’s shoes off and let him splash about in mud, or dig a hole with his toes on the beach, And the reason isn’t even anything “out there” or “weird”. It’s purely for his health. We all want our children to grow up healthy. Well, what better way to put them on the right path than to give them a powerful immune system. One of the best ways to do that is to let them build it themselves. By getting dirty.
Children who play in the mud, on grass, and are exposed to pets develop a stronger immune system than those sanitised constantly by terrified mothers(32). The ones who stay indoors, wrapped up and scared of getting dirty are the children who end up weaker and poorly.
It comes down to the above section on “being comfortable with discomfort.” Your son going out into the garden and coming back wet, muddy, cold, tired and grazed may be an inconvenience for you, and you may worry for him in the short term. But that short-term hardship for him- and you- can have extreme long-term gains. You might have to wash an extra pair of trousers, and comfort a shivering child, but when he grows up he’ll spend less time ill and more time happy and successful. It’s an easy choice really.
9. Gratitude
I remember when I was young, after every birthday and Christmas, my Mum would make me sit at the table, recall who got me what and write thankyou notes. Even for those elusive aunty and uncles that I was barely aware of. I used to hate it and grew up thinking it was pointless. But maybe my Mum was onto something.
In psychology research, gratitude is associated consistently with greater happiness. The act of feeling grateful and appreciating something can improve your life in a number of ways. It helps people:
- Feel more positive emotions
- Relish good experiences
- Improve overall health
- Effectively deal with adversity
- Build strong relationships.
And all this comes from simply acknowledging the good things that happen during the day- it could be something as small as seeing a robin, or the sun shining. The more you practice this, the better your brain becomes at noticing those little things, and the stronger it becomes in the areas of the brain responsible for positive thinking. You can thank yourself happy!
Here are a few ways you can incorporate gratitude into your son’s life and feed his brain the good stuff that’ll make him a positive person:
The Mindfulness Countdown
To bring him into the present and to stop him overthinking, ask him to list:
5 things he can see
4 things he can hear
3 things he can feel
2 things he can smell
take 1 deep breath.
Stoicism
Take away things he takes for granted. This sounds harsh but by periodically mixing up his routine and forcing him to tolerate things he wouldn’t normally have to, you are breaking him out of his comfort zone and helping him appreciate how his life normally is.
Active appreciation
Work with him to identify things that he is grateful for. It might be something simple. It might be something silly. But get him to say it out loud so he can openly appreciate whatever it is.
Gratitude jar
Have the whole family write one thing a day in the gratitude jar as a way to get small acts of gratitude in.
Write a list: take the time every now and again to list everything you can both think of that you appreciate. Start small and try and work up to everything in your life.
Thankyou notes: Yes. Finally, encourage them to write thank you notes. Not necessarily for presents, but for anything they are truly thankful for(33).
10. Roar!
How often have we heard the phrase: “children should be seen and not heard.” If we think back to our roots, again, we are creatures made for the wide open plains. Our children are supposed to roam under the huge sky, running, jumping, playing, shouting and laughing. Instead we stick them into small rooms and tell them to sit still and keep quiet. Legs crossed and fingers on lips is what I was told at school.
But what does that do for their self confidence? Don’t get me wrong. Nobody wants their son to be uncontrollable. But allowing a boy to express himself and providing him with the space to be wild will ultimately make him happier.
So let your son run through the woods, roll in the meadows, splash in the streams and give him space to roar at the top of his voice.
Summary
Get your son outside to boost his mental health and increase his feelings of calmness. A calm son has a much better chance of battling life’s obstacles.
Allow your son to connect to the Earth and gain energy from its power.
A dose of morning sunlight will give him energy to take on the day and help him sleep and recover at night.
Remind your son to close his mouth at every opportunity. Switching from mouth to nasal breathing will have more benefits than you know to his health, attractiveness, calmness and happiness.
Don’t let chairs ruin your sons health. Before school, after school and whenever you can, let him dangle, swing and play like a human child should.
Eat good quality meats and feed them to your family. Ignore the lies of the grain-heavy, vegan and industrial diets.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your son is unstoppable self confidence.
Don’t fret over his cleanliness and smartness. A boy should be dirty.
Teach him gratitude towards even the smallest things and he’ll grow up to be a good and happy man.
Subscribe to the Son of Man newsletter below to keep up to date with everything we do to combat misinformation in the raising of our young men!
Raise Your Legacy!
References
1.https://www.worldhistory.org/city/
2.https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/hunter-gatherer-culture
3.https://e360.yale.edu/features/ecopsychology-how-immersion-in-nature-benefits-your-health
4.https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44097-3
5.https://www.dec.ny.gov/lands/90720.html
6.https://physiofalmouthplus.co.uk/health-benefits-fresh-air/
7.https://daveasprey.com/hack-your-joints-with-footwear/
8.https://www.physio-pedia.com/Motor_Control_and_Learning
9.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5556098/
10.https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/facpub/3159/
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5556098/
12.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1550830719305476
13.https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/vitamin-d/
14.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3897598/
15.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK532266/
16.https://translational-medicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12967-019-1840-4
17.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK532266/
18.https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/vitamin-d/
19.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4928729/
20.https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/vitamin-d/
21.https://medium.com/@podclips/andrew-hubermans-light-sun-exposure-guide-dd62a43314df
22.https://physiofalmouthplus.co.uk/health-benefits-fresh-air/ - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4593528/
- Oxygen Advantage
25.https://www.evergreen-life.co.uk/health-wellbeing-library/benefits-of-nasal-breathing/ - Ross Edgley, 2021. ‘Blueprint.’
27.https://www.childrens.com/health-wellness/good-posture-builds-back-strength-now-and-reduces-health-risks-later
28.. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14672287/ - https://www.pharmacy times.com
30.https://www.selfimprovementdailytips.com/podcast/discomfort-and-self-confidence
31.https://alastairhumphreys.com/go-as-a-pilgrim-and-seek-out-danger/
32.https://optimized.co.za/blogs/knowledge/
33.https://daveasprey.com/use-gratitude-to-rewire-your-brain/
Pingback: How to get your young teenager fit, healthy and happy with exercise
Pingback: The 10 best foods for a teenage boy to eat: how to power through puberty
Pingback: How to eat for confidence: B12 as an intervention for depression and anxiety
Pingback: 7 positive parenting techniques for boys: how to maximise your son’s potential
Pingback: 10 Things Your Son Needs In 2023: a short list of how to boost his happiness - Son of Man
Pingback: 5 of the unhealthiest foods your son needs to avoid - Son of Man
Pingback: Can being vegan affect puberty? How to advise your teenager