25 ways to prepare to be a dad for the first time: the ultimate checklist

There’s nothing like that moment you first find out you’re going to be a Dad. No matter how elated you are, you can’t help but notice that cold lump of fear in your stomach. To help quell that fear, we’ve used first-hand experience and research to create the ultimate first-time father’s checklist to help you prepare to be a dad for the first time…

Table of Contents

25 ways to prepare to be a dad for the first time
Summary

25 ways to prepare to be a dad for the first time

In no particular order… (this post contains affiliate links)

1. Be excited and don’t stress

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never fixes anything.
Ernest Hemingway

As easy as it is to start worrying about losing your social life, not being able to afford a good school, never having sex again and fucking your son up beyond repair, don’t!

Fear is necessary for our survival and is definitely warranted when you find out you’re going to be a father. But don’t let it deprive you of the excitement you should be feeling. You’ve done the hard bit, one of your swimmers got through!

So don’t spend the next 9 months thinking of all the things that could go wrong. There are too many of them and they aren’t nice to think about. Instead, savour these last few months where it’s just you and your partner. Go out for nice meals, fly away on holiday, get it on then lie in each other’s arms in perfect silence. Because once the baby is here all these will get much harder, if not impossible.

Always think of how many fathers have gone before you. Fathers all over the world and in every situation have felt the same twang of worry. But for thousands of years they have managed to get through it. And the vast majority would tell you how there’s no point in worrying. If bad things are going to happen then they’ll happen. But whatever it is, there’s nothing like being a father. The good days will outnumber the bad days by many magnitudes.

So don’t let the fear get to you! Make the most of your time as just a couple, but allow yourself to be excited at the prospect of welcoming a baby into the mix. A good way to dispel your worries is to prepare to be a dad for the first time. Carry on reading, put these into practice and you’ll be amazed at how the worries disappear.

Get excited about becoming a dad for the first time

2. Get involved with the build-up

It’s easy as a man to sit back and let the expert take over during pregnancy. You’ll see that the mother knows a hell of a lot more than you do. Even though she my not be aware, she’ll have absorbed knowledge from every situation in her life that involves pregancy or babies.

As easy as it is to leave her to it, you will regret it. One way to really strengthen your relationship with your partner and get yourself excited for the baby is to take an interest in everything she does. There’ll be so much going on that you don’t understand the importance of. But communication is important. What your partner cares about, you should care about too.

If you are stressing about the pregnancy then this is a sure-fire way to help alleviate it. And remember that your wife is probably stressing too, even if she’s hiding it. By getting involved and taking an interest in things, you’ll help calm her down and make things easier for her as well as you.

3. Learn as much as possible

Knowledge is power
Francis Bacon

I get it. Everything that’s happening is brand new to you. Your partner and her friends are talking about things that you’ve never even heard of. When did it become socially acceptable to start talking about mucus plugs in public?

You’ll have a much easier time over the coming months if you decide to get your head into some books. Understand why your partner is extra tired today or why she wants to give birth in a certain way. Not only is it another way to strengthen your relationship with your partner but you’ll end up as a better father at the end of it. When it comes to preparing to be a dad for the first time, knowledge truly is power.

Read our post on positive parenting to kick off your search for parenting wisdom…

Educate yourself to prepare to be a dad for the first time

4. Start thinking of baby names early

You never make good decisions while you’re panicking. So why would you wait until the last safe moment to choose such an important part of your child’s life? Their name!

Even though you might want to wait until they’ve been born, it’s a good idea to at least have a list of potential names you’ve both agreed on. This prevents snap decisions that all of you later regret. From my own experience as well, when the mother is exhausted and you haven’t decided on a name yet she might give supreme power to you. Although that may seem like a good thing, sometimes we all need reigning in. Power corrupts!

Spend plenty of time thinking about baby names. The earlier you start, the longer you will have and the less panic there will be on the big day.

For inspiration check out Fatherly.com and their blog posts on baby names!

The Complete Fatherly Guide to Baby Names

1,000+ Unique Baby Boy Names That You Won’t Regret

254 Old-Fashioned Baby Names For Boys And Girls

5. Fix up your house

Do it now while you’ve got time. Because once the baby’s here you’ve got no chance. An inbound baby is the motivation that you need to do those jobs you’ve been putting off.

The next few months are a good opportunity to make your home safe and comfortable so that you all feel content in it. Not only will it make life easier once the baby arrives but towards the end of the pregnancy when your partner is massive and tired it’ll be a much nicer place for her to rest.

Once the house itself is safe and sound you can start on building and fitting all your new baby furniture. Remember to start painting the nursery early because you’ll end up repainting it at least twice before your partner accepts it. Prepare to be a dad for the first time and get your home in order.

6. Buy the essential kit first

It could be tempting to get caught up in the excitement- or pressure- and start buying robotic nappy bins or ivory changing mats. But make sure you get the essentials first. You’ll soon realise that the money adds up fast and these things are more expensive than you could have imagined.

Not only will you save money, but all the important things are needed for the baby’s well-being. From getting a safe car seat, to ensuring that there is a secure crib and comfortable mattress for your little one – those are the essentials. To prepare to be a dad for the first time, fathers must also remember to purchase necessary items for the mother such as a nursing pillow and comfortable clothing. Look after her, she’s the one doing all the hard work.

7. Go overboard on consumables

It’s no secret that babies are expensive, but there is one way to save money while still giving your baby the best start in life. By stocking up on all the consumables they’ll need!

Nappies, muslin cloths, wipes and nappy creams, among others, are essential items for any new father. While it might seem like an unnecessary expense to buy these items in bulk, you’ll save quite a bit of money since babies use them so quickly and you won’t find yourself running out at the worst possible times.

It’s also important to go overboard on consumables because they’re necessities and your baby will need them no matter what. It’s always better to be safe than sorry and have these items handy when the situation arises. Also, most of these items may not be available in stores at all times, so stocking up early will ensure that you’re always prepared for any eventuality. So go overboard on consumables – your baby will thank you for it!

8. Enjoy the 2nd trimester

In the 1st trimester, your partner will be making muscles, bones, nails and a brain. She’ll be tired and might feel sick. In the 3rd, she’ll be at her biggest, self-conscious and probably fed up. But during the 2nd there’ll be a sweet spot where her hormones are at a Goldilocks level.

Make the most of it. Spend as much time together during this time as possible because once the baby is here you’ll have to go without for a while. So light the candles, put your best pants on and get some early nights.

9. Get yourself in shape

Être fort pour être utile

Georges Hebért

One of the best ways you can prepare to be a dad for the first time Is to get yourself in order!

As populations increase and we grow further apart we lose sight of the importance of exercise. When we lived in small groups and relied on each other for survival, being unfit was a betrayal. How could you protect and assist your neighbour if you couldn’t run, lift, carry or fight?

Instead, people either exercise for vanity or not at all. Today’s society views being weak and unfit as acceptable but, as it was in years past, it’s selfish. Someone too weak to defend their family, friends and innocents is useless.

Becoming a father should be the wake-up call a man needs to sort himself out. Imagine someone trying to steal your child from you and you not being able to fight them off. Or your child running towards a busy road and you’re too unfit to run after them. As unlikely as these situations might be, why take the risk? It only has to go wrong once and you want to be prepared.

Get strong. Get fit. Do it for your child.

Learn more about fitness advice for you and your future child here!

Work hard to prepare to be a dad for the first time

10. Optimise the mother’s diet

And yours while you’re at it!

Everything that your wife/ girlfriend eats and drinks goes into making your baby. If her diet is full of ultra-processed rubbish, sugary drinks and other junk then your baby’s off to a bad start already. The essential nutrients that your baby will need to grow once it’s alive are the same that it needs as a foetus. Inadequate nutrition can lead to complications such as low birth weight, preterm birth, neural tube defects and an increased risk of chronic diseases in adulthood.

She should base her diet around natural whole foods that are nutrient-rich. Foods like grass-fed red meat and its associated fat contains key nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin B12 and iron. Minimallly-processed carbohydrates like sweet potatoes and white rice are a good alternative to processed grains like pasta and bread.

Low folic acid intake is one of the main concerns during pregnancy. Folic acid can be found in good quality dairy products and leafy green vegetables (1). Eggs especially are great sources of folic acid with just one containing 10-22% of an adults recommended daily intake (2). Be aware that pregnant mothers will need much more than normal adults and should always supplement.

A nutrient-rich diet will also benefit your wife. These foods will help prevent her getting gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and iron-deficiency anemia. Staying hydrated is also essential as dehydration can cause fatigue, headaches and dizziness.

Don’t trust the low fat propaganda! Understand the dangers of low fat here…

11. Convince the mother to breastfeed (if able)

Breastfeeding has a wealth of benefits for both the baby and the mother. It is the natural way to feed babies and the optimal source of nutrition for newborns (3).

For infants, breastfeeding can reduce their risk of getting infections, allergies and asthma. It also provides them with antibodies from the mother which helps protect them from disease.

Breastmilk is easier to digest than formula and contains unique nutrients such as fatty acids and antibodies which are not found in formula. It also helps the baby bond with their mother, creating an emotional attachment through skin-to-skin contact.

For mothers, breastfeeding can help with postpartum recovery and help prevent postpartum depression. It also burns calories which helps the mother lose baby weight and can reduce her risk of developing certain cancers, such as ovarian cancer and breast cancer (4).

Finally, breastfeeding is extremely cost-effective for families as it eliminates the need to buy formula. The World Health Organisation recommends that babies should be exclusively breastfed for their first six months of life and then supplemented with solid foods until at least 2 years of age (5).

12. Take time to fix any mental health issues (yours or hers)

Being a parent is an incredible responsibility. There’s a brand new human that relies solely on the two of you for not only their survival, but their long term health and happiness. So it’s up to you now while you’ve got some time before they arrive to sort out any personal issues you have.

Your child deserves to have dependable parents with all their mental bandwidth focused on parenting. A father’s job is to protect, educate and love his child more than anything else. Any mental health issues that switch that focus internally need to be sorted out.

We currently live in a social media world that rewards vanity and selfishness. Some people find it difficult to break out of this when they become a parent and still feel they are the centre of the universe. Not only will this mentality hurt your child but you’ll also miss out on many wonderful moments because you’re too focused on yourself.

However you’ve been living your life up until now, it can’t continue as it was before. Start preparing to be a dad for the first time. Stop being weak, deal with your issues and be the best father you can be.

It isn’t about you anymore. Your child needs you.

Eat yourself happy and confident by ensuring you get enough B12. Read more here…

Learn about the link between obesity and depression here…

13. Understand why babies do what they do

A bit of perspective goes a long way. Complaining about a screaming baby, no sleep and clothes covered in sick is easy. But take a second to think about why it’s happening.

Your baby has just spent its first 9 months warm and comfortable in a bubble. Now they’re out in a massive world full of strange creatures, noises and feelings. The fourth trimester theory is the idea that infants need to be treated as if they are still in the womb for the first few months after birth. Try to replicate the womb as much as possible through physical contact, warmth and soothing sounds like gentle reading or lullabies. This can help them develop a sense of security which in turn helps facilitate healthy development and growth (6).

As for getting no sleep, as hard as it is (I know!) try to find positives. They scream when you put them back in their cot because they love the feeling of you holding them. One day they’ll be too big to hold and too cool to want it. Then you’ll look back and wish they were screaming for you again. It won’t last forever so try to leach the most positivity out of every second.

14. Become more useful

Your wife doesn’t want an extra baby to worry about. If you’re the sort of bloke whose mum still does his washing or needs his wife to cook him dinner then now is the time to change.

Put yourself in situations you aren’t comfortable with to force yourself to learn and adapt. You and your partner are a team now so don’t be a dead weight. Nothing will put strain on a relationship like a useless husband and father. You’ll both realise how busy life becomes as a parent so don’t make things more difficult for your hard-working wife by being unable to perform simple tasks.

This ties into the previous point about fixing mental health issues. If you’re too anxious to talk to people on the phone then that means it’s up to your wife to do it. If you’re depressed and struggle to get out of bed in the morning then your wife will have to get up after spending all night feeding the baby. In short, you’re useless. So help out. Cook dinner, get up with the baby and let your wife sleep in, and be dependable enough to take the baby out when she needs time to herself.

Don’t be the weak link.

15. Never complain

Don’t be overheard complaining…Not even to yourself.” Marcus Aurelius (7)

Fathers need to be stoic and put their emotions aside when parenting. Being stoic means being strong, resilient, and dependable – qualities that are essential for a father figure in his child’s life.

Use Stoic qualities to learn how to handle difficult situations with patience and composure, thus setting an example for your child. Following Stoic teachings can help both you and your child become better listeners and problem solvers with the ability to think clearly and rationally. It also allows you to practice self-control in times of stress, allowing you to stay focused on your goals and being the positive role model your child needs (https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/stoicism.html).

Complaining not only worsens your mood and stresses you out but also does the same for your child. How can you raise a positive and content child if all they hear is negativity?

You don’t need to spend all day studying Stoic philosophy and pondering the meaning of ancient translations. ‘The Daily Stoic’ and ‘The Daily Dad’ by Ryan Holiday take all the effort out of it, allowing you to spend the majority of your time parenting! A short passage every day can help give you the perspective and motivation you need to excel at building a confident and happy child. Click the pictures below to check them out.

16. Pick up the slack

Your wife is going to be busy and all of the little things she does that you take for granted will take a back seat. You’ll need to pick up the slack and do all the essential jobs to keep the house and family running. Helping around the house is essential for both of you so you can share the rest and stay mentally and emotionally healthy.

You should take on more responsibilities like laundry, cooking meals, and washing dishes as well as taking charge of any pets and issues around the house. This allows the mother to have time to herself when she can and reduce the stress and anxiety that often come with having a newborn. Be supportive during this time by actively listening to your partner and helping her manage any feelings of overwhelm or exhaustion.

By taking on more responsibility, you are setting an example for your child and showing them what it means to be a good parent. In the long run this small act will benefit you, your wife and your child.

Help out to prepare to be a dad for the first time

17. Dominate the car seat

A car seat is the wrong place to go cheap! Not only do you not want to skimp on your child’s safety (of course) but a well-engineered one can save you serious stress. When it comes to buying a car seat, check the reviews carefully and avoid any that seem like a pain to deal with. If you can, it’s well worth trying them out yourself to realise which ones are going to cause you issues.

Because that time that you really need to be somewhere and the baby is kicking off, a simple car seat will save your last nerve from disappearing. If you aren’t prepared then you’ll notice that women’s privilege is real! When you’re trying to thread a seat belt through a space in a car seat that is only possible for someone with hands as small as Donald Trump!

18. Decide on a birth plan

This is something that the mother will either already have ideas about or spend a long time thinking about. You want to be involved. First time fathers will struggle to comprehend how amazing the birth actually is and how what can seem like subtle changes to us, can make huge differences. Speak to your wife and try to understand what she wants. Help her research the different birth plans and listen to her thoughts and expectations. She might be the one doing all the work but you’ll both be there for the amazing experience.

My wife swears by water births and relied on breathing techniques instead of drugs to help her remain calm.

Water births can provide mothers with relief from pain during labour and provide a more comfortable birthing experience. Research has shown that the properties of water allow for faster and easier delivery, reducing the duration of labour (8). Additionally, breathing techniques can provide deep relaxation and help mothers to cope with their labour pains.

Breathwork can help guide women in understanding the contractions of their bodies, allowing them to better navigate pain (9). For women looking for an easier, more comfortable birth, water births and breathing techniques can be a great option. With the right preparation and support, it can help mothers to have a smoother birthing experience.

19. Help your partner relax

Pregnant women need to take time to relax and stay stress-free in order for both the mother and baby to remain healthy. Staying relaxed can help reduce blood pressure, decrease anxiety, improve sleep quality, and reduce muscle tension (https://www.webmd.com/baby/features/pregnancy-stress-relief). Additionally, relaxation techniques can allow pregnant women to better manage their labour pain (10).

Taking time out of the day for rest and relaxation can help reduce stress levels while allowing pregnant women time to connect with their baby, before and after birth. You can be supportive by offering activities that can help your partner relax such as reading, listening to music, or going for a walk. This can help create a positive birthing experience and lead to healthier pregnancies overall.

When a pregnant woman is stressed, the hormones released can have negative effects on her unborn baby. High levels of stress can lead to lower birth weight, pre-term delivery, and increased risk of hypertension in newborns (11). Additionally, it can lead to depression during pregnancy and postpartum depression after birth (12). Fathers should be supportive and help manage any feelings of stress or anxiety a pregnant woman may have.

20. Be a proud parent

This isn’t a hard one! We’ve all been around parents that don’t stop talking about their children or constantly try and show you pictures of them. We all want to avoid these people. But when you’re the one with the child, you believe they’re so cute that everybody wants and needs to see them.

Embrace this and allow yourself to be proud of your child. You might not do the same cool and exciting things that you did before. You’ll have traded parties and relaxing beach holidays for nappy changes and repetitive games. But never regret it or long for the old days. There is so much joy in making your child happy by simply spending time with them.

Be amazed at how they develop and always encourage them to give everything their best.

Learn about the top ten things that your son needs for health and happiness here…

21. Talk to your partner about future difficulties

You’ll find that there are plenty of things to argue about when you’ve got children. By planning ahead and identifying things that could become sore points, you’ll both be prepared when it happens and have a better chance at dealing with it successfully.

Doing so can help you identify common ground, come up with solutions together and create a stronger bond. It’s also beneficial in understanding each other’s perspectives and being more tolerant of disagreements. Talking about these issues ahead of time will help you both be better equipped to handle any potential problems down the road. This can ultimately lead to a healthier, happier and more unified family.

22. Do skin-on-skin as much as possible

Get your top off and keep it off!

Skin-on-skin contact between a father and his new baby can be incredibly beneficial for both parties. Studies show that skin-to-skin releases the hormone oxytocin, which helps to promote bonding and facilitates positive interactions between parents and their offspring (13). This can help to reduce stress and elevate mood, leading to better physical and emotional health for both father and son. Fathers who engage in skin-to-skin are also more likely to be involved in the day-to-day care of their baby after birth (14).

It can also help to regulate the baby’s temperature and heart rate, as well as help them better transition into their new environment (15). This can lead to better sleep, which is essential for the baby’s growth and development- and your sanity!

Finally, studies show that skin-to-skin contact between a father and his son helps to build mutual trust and understanding, providing the foundation for a strong relationship in the future (16). For these reasons, skin-on-skin contact between a father and his son is an essential part of their relationship and should be encouraged as much as possible.

Prepare to be a dad for the first time by getting your top off and bonding with your newborn.

23. Read aloud

Reading aloud to your child is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. It helps them learn, connect with family members and encourages academic success. Reading aloud to your child can help set them up for life-long learning and provide them with essential skills.

Benefits of reading aloud

It helps them learn essential skills such as language and literacy,
builds their vocabulary,
improves cognitive development,
strengthens brain connections
enhances memory (17).

Reading aloud to your child also:

helps them understand emotions,
builds listening and concentration skills,
teaches them about the world around them
encourages creative thinking (18).

Furthermore, reading aloud to your child is a great bonding experience. It helps them feel closer and more connected to their family, encourages social interactions, fosters a love of reading and aids in building self-esteem (19). This love of reading can help them develop critical thinking skills and set them up for lifelong learning (20). And it isn’t only young children that benefit. Even when your child can read themselves, having somebody read to them can help ignite their imagination and relax them. Prepare to be a dad for the first time by starting your collection of books now!

24. Be a mindful father: don’t get stuck on autopilot

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
William Faulkner

” ― William Faulkner

Being a father is without a doubt the most important thing you will ever do. How you raise your child will reflect more on you than anything else. They are your legacy.

The sad thing about parenting is that most people are one! Because of this, people take it for granted. Most parents are happy to go along with what everyone else does without very much thought. Parenting is a chance to constantly improve. Never rest on your laurels and still expect your child to excel. There is always something that you could be doing to help them become a better person and enjoy life more.

I get it. When you’ve had a long week at work you might want to lie on the sofa all morning. But what’s that doing to your child! They’d much rather be out in the morning sunshine, feeling the grass under their bare feet and listening to the birds. And they get so much more out of it.

Always be on the look out for ways to benefit their life. Get them outside, in new situations and encourage them through adversity to boost their self-confidence.

Son Of Man is constantly trying to learn and improve. We want to allow every parent and child to love their life together and feel fulfilled. It saddens us when people go through life without experiencing true joy. And we believe this joy can be found strongest of all through a content family. Everything we do is to help fathers improve their son’s life so that they can grow up happy and both can look down on the farthest side of the mountain and be at peace with themselves.

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I look down the farthest side of the mountain,

fulfilled and understanding all,

and truly content that

I lived a full life and one

that was my own choice
James Elroy Flecker

25. Enjoy the ride!

The greatest way that you can prepare to be a dad for the first time is to fully embrace and enjoy it.

There’s nothing in life like fatherhood! Never take it for granted, never complain and give it your absolute everything. There’s nothing that will ever be more important. At the end of the day, it’s why we are here!

Summary

As a father, it is essential to invest in your child’s life and happiness.

Reading aloud to them is an excellent way to bond with your child, build their language skills, increase their understanding of the world around them, and foster self-esteem and creativity.

Prepare to bear a dad for the first time by sorting your physical and mental health out. Get fit, healthy and happy to set a good example to your child!

There are many opportunities for fathers to make a difference in their child’s life and create memorable moments.

By constantly striving to learn and improve, fathers can help their sons achieve joy and fulfillment in life.

Son Of Man is here to provide resources and guidance for parents looking to do just that. So make the most of your time with your children, enjoy the ride, and give it your absolute everything!

Raise Your Legacy

Son Of Man

Father, elite soldier, international athlete, nutritionist and author. Committed to promoting masculine parenting and improving the livelihoods of young men. “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”

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